Mathematical puns are the first sine of madness

Fun with SCIENCE!

“Oh Bunsen, my flame. I melt whenever I see you . . .”, the sodium pined.
“It’s just a phase you’re going through”, replied the Bunsen burner.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, “For you, no charge!”

Helium walks into a bar and the bartender says “We don’t serve your kind here.” Helium doesn’t react.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 pint, the second orders 1/2 a pint,
the third one orders 1/4 of a pint, then the bartender says “You’re all assholes” and pours 2 pints.

A bar walks into a physicist. Oops, wrong frame of reference…

Algebra’s easy, calculus is alright, probability is okay.
But graphing?
That’s where I draw the line.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Calculus has its limits. Decimals have a point. Geometry is just plane fun.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work? and How can I make it better?”
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

Arguing with an engineer is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a few hours, you realize that he likes it.

What’s the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil engineers build targets.

A magnet says to another magnet, “From your backside, I found you repulsive. Now that you’ve turned around, though, I find you quite attractive.”

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