Archive for category Joke of the every couple of Days

In the 1400’s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have ‘the rule of thumb’.

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Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled ‘Gentlemen Only….Ladies Forbidden’… and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola bottles were originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:

Alaska

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Fun with SCIENCE!

“Oh Bunsen, my flame. I melt whenever I see you . . .”, the sodium pined.
“It’s just a phase you’re going through”, replied the Bunsen burner.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, “For you, no charge!”

Helium walks into a bar and the bartender says “We don’t serve your kind here.” Helium doesn’t react.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 pint, the second orders 1/2 a pint,
the third one orders 1/4 of a pint, then the bartender says “You’re all assholes” and pours 2 pints.

A bar walks into a physicist. Oops, wrong frame of reference…

Algebra’s easy, calculus is alright, probability is okay.
But graphing?
That’s where I draw the line.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Calculus has its limits. Decimals have a point. Geometry is just plane fun.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work? and How can I make it better?”
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

Arguing with an engineer is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a few hours, you realize that he likes it.

What’s the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil engineers build targets.

A magnet says to another magnet, “From your backside, I found you repulsive. Now that you’ve turned around, though, I find you quite attractive.”

To all of the parents of children that are struggling with their reading &
their “Golden Words”, this one is for you!!!

A class of five-year old students are learning to read.
One of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said,
“Look at this! It’s a frickin’ elephant!”

The teacher took a deep breath, then asked…”What did you call it?”

“It’s a frickin’ elephant! It says so on the picture!”

And so it does…

” A f r i c a n Elephant ”

Now that’s funny, I don’t care who you are.

If you’ve ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!

Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.

The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall.

The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?”

The CEO said, “Wait right here.” He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said,

“Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”

From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s”!

I thought this was pretty cool… Remember: Only great minds can read this

Eonverye taht can raed tihs rsaie yuor hnad.

To my ‘selected’ strange-minded friends:

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!